Idiots@TheGym
Personal Rant: Sartorial Edition
Things I Never Want To See At The Gym:
- Hard nipples under a skintight Under Armour tank top. On a man.
- A grandfather with tribal tattoos.
- Someone using wrist wraps on the lat pulldown machine.
- Girl doing cardio in a Papa Johns t-shirt.
- Sweat dripping off a hipster’s gnarly beard.
- A ginger with a bowl cut.
- Dirty dreadlocks restrained by a cut-off t-shirt sleeve.
- A guy adjusting his lifting gloves Nomar Garciaparra style…but never actually lifting.
- Guts hanging out of t-shirts.
Things I Frequently See At The Gym:
- All of the above.
Personal Rant
I hate people who complain about working out. I also pity them, because I fucking love lifting weights and exercising in general. Why do people bitch about an opportunity to better themselves? Why do they moan when they’re so lucky that they can even be concerned about their fitness? Much of the world doesn’t even know where their next fucking meal is coming from, whereas you get depressed because you ate too much! So, instead, why don’t you start counting your blessings and stop whining about having to wake up at 7:00am to go to your commercial Globo Gym and spend 45 minutes on an elliptical machine.
I find it absolutely hilarious that people are reblogging a gif of Patrick Bateman for “fitsporation.” Really folks?
547 notes (via -fitbitch & mrgolightly)
That 300 pound guy doing 1,000 pound leg presses with a 3.5 centimeter range of motion. Here’s a thought: You’ve been coming here for months and you still weigh 300 pounds. What was it that Einstein said about insanity again?
P.S. Using every 45 pound plate in our shitshack gym is most definitely not appreciated, you fucking asshat.
Dear Bro Bro
Perhaps you’ve noticed that I’m doing some deadlifts? Oh you haven’t? Well, that’s okay…if I were a fucking moron supersetting the “Ab Roller Coaster” with barbell wrist curls I probably wouldn’t have noticed a mound of iron sitting on the floor either. I sincerely apologize for being in your way. I now know that I am the only obstacle between you and the massive wrist muscles that you so deeply deserve. I’ll do better next time. Promise.
Whaaaat. That wasn’t supposed to happen!
I just tracked my intake in the first time since…school got out for sure. Why’s it so low? Damn.
YES! Finally someone who gets it right. Thank you for acknowledging that eating 1,000kcal a day isn’t healthy. Rock it out, girl.
Eurythmics - Here Comes The Rain Again
This is what my joke of a gym plays while I’m trying to work out. I swear, if I ever forget to bring my headphones to the gym at least let me remember a cyanide capsule. Listen, I love the Eurythmics as much as your next 23 year old straight man, but when I’m trying to lift hundreds of pounds of iron off the floor I need something else. Anything else. I’ll take Timbaland remixes of Aerosmith songs for fuck’s sake.
Disclaimer
Hello New Followers! Welcome and thanks for looking into Idiots@TheGym. My Tumblr may be rude and a bit irreverent, but I promise I’m a nice guy at the end of the day. My main mission is to promote sound exercise practices and healthy body image expectations through humor. If you ever need any serious advice or have something to share, please ask and submit.
